Here’s an advice post. My intended audience is the geek who has fallen for a mundane. It may also help those of you living in a mundane household. I hope.

(Note: feel free to replace “mundane” with whatever term is most helpful to you. “Muggle” perhaps. Or “non-geek” is you prefer.)


First off: DON’T PANIC.

Not everyone will share your interests. This is true among geeks. Some like comic books. Some don’t–but they are die-hard Whovians. Or Browncoats. Or Browncoated Whovians. (It’s the philosophy that I personally ascribe to.)

And some people just read Asimov’s Foundation over and over.

It’s shiny.


Point is, you don’t have to share all the interests with your significant other.

For the mundane, casual video game usage, watching competitive sports, and . . . whatever it is they do instead of writing Caprica (or whatever) fanfic.

It does not help to curse. Gorram this or motherfrakking that.

They probably won’t understand you. And that’s shiny, too.

Find some things that you do enjoy doing together. There’s sure to be common ground. And deep down, once a certain level of trust is established, you may find they have some geeky thing hidden away.

Like fantasy football. Which I understand is just heavily modified D20. Or something.

Don’t ask me.

And try to do things together. Avoid geeky words when you stare into their eyes. Like shiny. Don’t necessarily say that you love them like a burrito. Astronomical objects are probably a safer bet.

(Okay, confession time: I have used ‘my moon and stars’ as a term of affection to good results. Uh, sorry, GRRM. And Khal Drogo, you were too beautiful for this world. Or maybe just Jason Momoa is. But again I digress.)


I tried really gorram hard to find some acronym for T.O.W.E.L. that worked. But alas I failed.

So I offer this instead: you need to have a geeky friend. A supergeek. Preferably someone who is willing to listen to your daily woes expressed in ways only a Whovian would understand (or whatever your thing is).

And reciprocate.

You need someone with whom you can go on length about the intricacies of Dhai politics or what Firefly season 3 could have been about or what Caprica has to do with the rebooted BSG series (and how it would have been a better series, of course).

So those are my two big tips for having a relationship with a mundane. In short, find common ground and have geeky friends who you can really geek out with.

You may find yourself going to watch people sporting (that’s what it’s called, I think) and in exchange include your significant other in some geeky activity. When and if that happens, don’t be pushy or too canon-obsessed. Let your girlfriend cosplay as a blonde Wonder Woman (Leonard Hofstadter I’m looking at you!) or your boyfriend as a stormtrooper much shorter than would be acceptable even in the Outer Rim. In other words, Don’t Be a Dick.

Thanks for reading. Keep it shiny!

Copyright and attributions: this is important, too. Read it.

Dont panic” by Seddon at English Wikipedia. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dont_panic.jpg#/media/File:Dont_panic.jpg

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